


My Misadventures in (Tokyo) Ghoul Society

by SilentJo



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, Tokyo Ghoul Anime Spoilers, smartass OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-08 08:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14101032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentJo/pseuds/SilentJo
Summary: One minute I'm walking to my next class, the next I find myself stuck in the ending moments of the Tokyo Ghoul anime.  If I can manage to keep my smart mouth shut, I may be able to get out of this alive.  I may even be able to change a few things while I'm here.  It's not like I can make it any worse than the 2nd season.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was a winning submission to the fanfiction contest for Freecon 2018 in Tallahassee, Florida based on the following prompt:
> 
> "You wake up in you favorite anime after being knocked out (must be canon-verse), and a character(s) is/are your guide(s)."
> 
> This originally was just a short story for a different writing prompt but I liked the idea of it so much I expanded it to use for the fanfiction contest. I didn't originally have any plans to write more than this, but I do have part of a second chapter written. I have other projects I'm working on, but I may come back to this one once those are finished. Hope you enjoy this!

Dirt. Why am I smelling dirt right now? I sat up and felt an ache in my head. Touched my forehead and felt a big lump on the right side that stung as I lightly pushed against it. Strange noises distracted me from trying to recall just how I got into this situation. I felt a little dizzy as I stood up, but otherwise I was good to go.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." I moaned as I wandered towards the sound that had woke me from the deepest sleep of my life. I recognized the scene immediately, hundreds of uniformed officers fighting against a variety of wild people with fleshy limbs bulging from their backs. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was the first CCG raid against Aogiri Tree in Tokyo Ghoul!

"Of all the anime series to get magically self-inserted into, did it really have to be Tokyo Ghoul? Why not 'Free!'? Or 'Haikyuu!'? Hell, even 'Yuri on Ice!' would have sufficed. Something with a lot of exclamation points and even more female fanservice! I wanted guys that would look at me fondly, not look at me like I was a snack!"

I surveyed the layout of the area I was in and tried to judge where in the story I was from there. It looked like the raid was just beginning. Which meant that the second member of my white-haired anime boy harem, Kaneki, was about to awaken to his true badassery. Despite the danger of being considered a meal to most of the beings in the vicinity, I just could not miss the chance to see the fight between Kaneki and Jason in person. As I made my way to the domed annex where Jason played his sick and twisted ghoul games, I found myself wondering if I'd be able to hear 'Unravel' playing as Kaneki accepts the ghoul within and begs the question, What's a thousand minus seven?

Through some amazing acts of coincidence (as well as convenience), I easily got into the building and felt the ground beneath my feet tremble. Ahh damn, it's already started! Gotta move it, I only have as long as the song lasts. I begin to hum the melody of the OP as I finally find an upper entrance looking down into the expansive room. Just in time to see Kaneki sprout four deadly kagune from his back. I found myself rather disappointed that there was no background music playing at all, so I decided to sing it to myself as he began to battle the ghoul that had been torturing him for the last ten days.

_"Oshiete oshiete yo sono shikumi wo..."_

Just like I knew he would, Kaneki destroys his captor and begins to torture him in a suitably karmic fashion. By forcing him to do math without a calculator! I shudder at the thought myself and thank my lucky stars it isn't me down there. Yamori's tears are genuine as he fumbles to get each number right, while Kaneki proceeds to make a meal of his kagune. I found myself a little put off by this part of the action. The anime just stopped after his catchy line about it being okay to eat Yamori because he tried to eat him first.

I decided to give my boy some privacy to eat his dinner and went back towards the other towers. Damn, now I had to figure out which way to go to avoid both sides of the current fight. I stood out to both factions and would either be shot by one side or nommed by the other. So, I took the opportunity to retrace my steps and wound up back where I started. I chilled in my little safe space and tried to remember how the second season's story went.

"Oh shit, the second season sucked! They should've read the manga."

"What's that about a manga?"

I wasn't expecting to run into anyone else this close to where the action was taking place, but as I slowly turned around I recognized the source of the question.

"Hide?! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be bicycling your way across Tokyo right now?"

I got a strange look, which was expected to be fair. "How do you know my name? And my main method of transportation?"

"Magic. So, I'm guessing you're looking for Kaneki then? I think he's taking some... personal time right now."

"He's eating Jason, isn't he." Hide said matter-of-factly, not even bothering to phrase it as a question.

Surprised that he was so well informed, I just nodded my head. Then I realized that Hide wasn't the happy-go-lucky best friend trope that he's first made out to be. This guy was smart and observant. I also realized that at least until the end of season two, he managed to keep himself from becoming ghoul food. My best bet would be to stick to him like ghouls to a Starbucks.

Hide looked at me suspiciously, "So who are you and what are you doing here anyway?"

"Honestly, I don't know how I got here, one second I was walking to my English Literature class and the next thing I know I'm in the middle of a mediocre adaptation."

"You're being weird again. Either explain or just stop talking." Hide sighed and squeezed his temples as though stemming off a migraine.

The gunfire sounded like it was getting closer, which started getting me kinda nervous. "You wanna get out of here? I kind of feel like we're in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I suppose it'd be rude to just leave you here, so come with me. I'll just have to try again with Kaneki another time."

"I guess that depends on how season three goes," I said quietly as I started to follow Hide. If this world really was following the events of the anime, then giving him or anyone else a heads-up of what their futures hold would be a bad idea. But would it really be that bad if I could prevent some horrible things from happening? Sure, it may end up causing a butterfly effect that could come back to bite everyone in the ass later, but I just didn't want this cute little cinnamon roll to meet with such a pointless demise.

"Uhh, I thought we were getting away from this scene, why are we getting closer to the CCG?"

Hide turned back to look at me, his eyes tired and impatient, "I'm a part-timer with the CCG, but there's some info I need to gather while everyone's busy. This actually may work to my advantage, if I use you as a distraction."

"What kind of info?"

"Just some stuff, nothing that would cause you any concern. It's mainly for his benefit anyway."

Ah, Kaneki. I forgot how much of a boner this guy had for him. "If it keeps me alive long enough to see a decent Tokyo Ghoul :Re adaptation, then lead the way!"

"There you go spouting off nonsense again. Once we're done here I want some straight answers from you, okay? You seem to know far more than someone with no obvious affiliation should."

"If you get me out of here in one piece, I'll even throw in a free back rub while I tell you everything you want to know."

What did I have to lose, really. Maybe I ended up here on purpose, so I _could_ change the way it plays out.


	2. Chapter 2

Hide pinched the bridge of his nose, apparently attempting to stem his growing impatience with me.  Perhaps I should turn the snark down just a tad.   
  
"It's obvious you've got a quick mouth, let's see you use it to keep these guys occupied while I take care of what I have to do.  Follow my lead and keep them busy.  Got it?"  
  
"Sure thing."  
  
We walked up towards the rear guard of the CCG's mobile control station.  Hide flashed his ID to the guards, "Hey, I found this civilian while I was checking the perimeter.  Seems to be okay but a little disoriented.  I'm going to check in with Marude to give him an update.  I'll take her out of here once I do so.  Stay here just a moment, Miss. You'll be safe here."  
  
"O-Oh, okay!  I am so glad you found me, whatever would I have done without you?!"  Okay, I really need to try to rein in my sarcasm now.  
  
"Tone it down, will you?" Hide whispered as he nodded to me and walked away towards the mobile units.  
  
I looked around at the scene, then at the guards that I was charged with distracting.  "So, you guys get to do this often?  The whole 'we don't understand these creatures so we should probably just kill 'em' scenario?"  
  
Two blank stares.  Perfect.  They seemed more interested in what was going on towards the front lines than with me.  Guess they were wishing they weren’t being treated like that friend at the club who stays at the table to watch everyone’s stuff.  I can relate, being a former Guardian of the Purses myself.  
  
“Ah, okay we’re all set here.  Thanks for keeping her company fellas, I’ll get you home safely now, Miss,” Hide said as he appeared suddenly.  
  
“Sure, uh huh,” was all one of them said in response, still transfixed by the battle in the distance.  
  
Once we got a reasonable distance away from them, I started to laugh to myself.  “I-I don’t really know why you were so concerned about keeping those two occupied, they hardly cared whether you went to see Marude or not.”  
  
“To be honest, I was hoping you’d say something out of line and end up getting stuck there with them.  You’d be safe and out of my hair that way.  But something tells me that you’ve got an interesting story to tell, so I decided I’d follow through on my promise.”  
  
“Wow, that’s considerably out of character for you, Hide.”  
  
He stopped and turned around to face me.  “And just how exactly do you know my true character?  I don’t even know your name!”  
  
“I said I’d let you know once we were somewhere safe.  This looks like a strangely deserted street in Tokyo, not somewhere safe.”  
  
He turned around quickly, but not before I saw his face go red.  “Fine, but no more crazy talk until we get there.”  
  
It’s too bad he didn’t have the bicycle that he used to get around at the end of the first season and beginning of the second.  I just wasn’t prepared for how damn far it was to get to Hide’s apartment.   
  
Once he opened the door and let me walk inside, I collapsed in a heap inside his doorway.  
  
“No, that’s a perfectly convenient place to pass out, stranger.  Please feel free to continue inconveniencing me.”  
  
Okay, that kinda got to me. “Look, I didn’t ask to be here, okay?  I didn’t wake up today expecting any of this!  And I certainly didn’t plan to run into you or Kaneki.  I’m still trying to process what happened myself!”  
  
As he looked down at me, Hide’s expression softened, “What happened to your head?  I didn’t see it before when we were outside in the dark, but you’ve got a pretty nasty bruise coming up.”  
  
“I don’t remember that part, just waking up not far from where you found me.  I know I had been walking to my next class.  I was outside heading to the…”  Now I remember.  “I was passing the sports fields, and the baseball team was practicing.  I’m willing to bet that the bump on my forehead also includes the indentions of baseball stitches, right?”  
  
He watched me for a few moments, then offered me his hand to help me stand up.  “I guess you had a pretty rough day, sorry for snapping at you earlier.  I’m pretty beat myself, I know I told you to tell me what’s going on, but we can put it off until tomorrow and just get some rest tonight.  Sound good?”  
  
“Yeah, sounds fine to me.”  I took his hand and got back on my feet again.  The exhaustion had really started to set in, so I started walking towards his living room.  
  
“Hey, where are your manners?!  Take your shoes off before walking into my place!  Don’t make me regret my decision to help you so quickly!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning to update this so soon, but I've been getting more comments and reviews wanting to see more of this story. So I figured I'd put up the second chapter that I'd originally planned to use for the fanfiction contest. I know you're all really looking forward to seeing where this story goes, but I'm still working on several other stories. I can't make any promises on when I'll get back to this one, but just know that I do intend to continue it. 
> 
> Please continue to let me know what you think of the story so far, and hopefully we'll see what other trouble our snarky protagonist can get herself into while she's stuck in the Tokyo Ghoul anime world. I feel like a rewatch of season 2 is in order if I want to really do this story justice. Pray for me. Thanks again for reading and commenting/reviewing!


End file.
